As I draw a close to this: the first week of this beautifully insane experiment, I am reminded of how emotionally, psychologically and physically taxing the creative process can be.
The terror.
The bubbling insecurities and self doubt.
The figurative self-flagellation.
I won't let this stop me. If this was easy, I wouldn't care and I'd never do it. Take my uncle: without even trying, he's this sickeningly talented artist but It comes so easy, that he's never taken it anywhere. It just doesn't matter to him. On the other hand, it's taken me something like twenty one years of continuous suffrage -- pushing myself beyond my limits -- to get where I'm at right now. The crazy part is, as far as I'm concerned and after all my efforts to this point -- I STILL feel like it's not enough.
It will never be enough, that's why I keep doing it -- trying to outdo myself with every brush stroke, every layout. I know that as an artist, I have to let go and give in to the madness.
That's the point.
The terror.
The bubbling insecurities and self doubt.
The figurative self-flagellation.
I won't let this stop me. If this was easy, I wouldn't care and I'd never do it. Take my uncle: without even trying, he's this sickeningly talented artist but It comes so easy, that he's never taken it anywhere. It just doesn't matter to him. On the other hand, it's taken me something like twenty one years of continuous suffrage -- pushing myself beyond my limits -- to get where I'm at right now. The crazy part is, as far as I'm concerned and after all my efforts to this point -- I STILL feel like it's not enough.
It will never be enough, that's why I keep doing it -- trying to outdo myself with every brush stroke, every layout. I know that as an artist, I have to let go and give in to the madness.
That's the point.
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